How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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