if you like me you must not know who I am
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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