You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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