It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
