Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
