why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
