Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sext me about skeletons
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
