She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize