nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
