I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
