with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
