I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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