East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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