How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
