if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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