so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
