Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize