i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She bit a glass in half.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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