I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A+ Viking dick
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
