This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
