Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(205): View more from Alabama

I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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(310): View more from California

i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret

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(732): View more from New Jersey

is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

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(708): View more from Illinois

he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet

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(847): View more from Illinois

my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.

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(586): View more from Michigan

If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month

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(858): View more from California

What should I list for life skills

(619): View more from California

How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that

(858): View more from California

Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California

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