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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  "We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  ...this stays between you and me

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too

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• (904): View more from Florida

  He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..

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• (415): View more from California

  Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!

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