Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
