this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
