Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
