If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
