Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
