he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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