i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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