I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
