im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
