I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
