just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
