It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
