So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm like, not good at living.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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