you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
