for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
