we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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