How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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