Dual....:-)
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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