So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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