this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
