Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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