im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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