Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
