hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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