I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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