My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
