I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm having to shit out rocks
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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