xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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