I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
