it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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