Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The feeling are messing with the penis
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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