I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
