so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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