This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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