I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
