wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
