I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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