nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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