i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she looked like the before picture.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
