What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
