Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
