I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
