i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
