she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I faked an abortion last night.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
