we're chasing vodka with high fives
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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