According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
