alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
people are starting to question the shark bite story
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Found your dick twin last night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
